Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
