Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
