just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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