No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
