And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
