Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
