he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Ladies don't puke and tell
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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