are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
