why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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