just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
