well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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