Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
