hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
