i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
