To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
