im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
