I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I look better un-naked...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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