some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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