At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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