You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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