I am spending my child support on dildos
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
