dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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