I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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