I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
