Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
