i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
