I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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