i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
