good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Randomize
