ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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