I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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