that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
