Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
