no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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