You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
