and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
