ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
