Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
