i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
