nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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