So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
