Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
