if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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