Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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