why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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