come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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