yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
