I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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