i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
