He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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