I'm going to jail i love you
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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