how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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