Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?

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(904): View more from Florida

You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid

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(404): View more from Georgia

He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.

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(207): View more from Maine

I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.

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(303): View more from Colorado

There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get

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(208): View more from Idaho

I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes

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